I have been seeing a lot of talk out on the web about raising biracial children, there are even a few great blogs devoted to the topic. This got me to wondering… should I post about growing up biracial?! I think so!
As I have mentioned in the past-my mother is Mexican American & my father is Caucasian. I was raised knowing that I am mixed- it was no big deal to me. I took after my mom in the looks department: dark hair, dark eyes. My sibling has blue eyes and more Caucasian features. When I was little, I used to tan very easily and always had a dark tan every summer.
My friends in school all knew I was mixed, because I made a point of telling them. I can remember being in middle school, (Art class) and my classmates were having a discussion about something, I don’t remember what…and one of my “white” friends turned to me and asked, “What do you Mexicans think about that?” I looked at her and said, “I’m not Mexican, I’m 1/2 Mexican & 1/2 White, my dad’s white, just like yours.” She quickly apologized and said, “Oh yeah, I forgot.”
You see, all the White kids thought I was Mexican, because of my darker features. But all my Mexican friends thought I was White, because my features were not as dark as theirs!
Then there was the time one of my Mexican friends referred to me as “Honky” (It was the late 70′s, ok?). There were about three other girls around us, it was before school one morning. They all started to laugh. I reminded her that I was 1/2 White & 1/2 Mexican, saying “My mom’s Mexican, just like yours.” That shut her up real quick.
Looking back, I can see how her comment could have had the opposite effect on me. Had my mom not continually told me that I was 1/2 White & 1/2 Mexican, I might have been really upset by that girl’s comment. I do believe that would be considered bullying today. Her comment did not hurt me or upset me. I took it in stride. I knew what I was, who I was, and I was comfortable in my own skin. I am thankful that my mom had reinforced that in me. If she hadn’t, I might have run off the playground that morning in tears.
Along the same lines, I never felt like I had to choose one ethnicity over the other. I know some mixed people feel like they have to claim one race… Alicia Keys is mixed, but says she’s Black, for example. That’s fine if that’s what works for her. I am proud of my mixed heritage. Growing up I felt like I had the best of both worlds. I had Aunts & Uncles & Tias & Tios. During the holidays, I ate Chicken & Dumplings and Tamales & Pan Dulce! I actually felt sorry for the kids that were just one race, I felt like they were missing out on so much!
In school, when we had to fill out all those forms at the beginning of the school year…you know the ones, “Mark an X in the box that describes your race” yeah, that one… I always filled in 2 boxes- White and Latino. One time, my English teacher told me, “Um, you can only mark one box.” To which I replied, “No, I can’t! I’m White and Mexican, not one or the other, I’m both!” She did not say anything else.
To this day, I tell everyone (my friends, not strangers on the street!) that I am mixed. I am also raising my kids to be proud of their racial identity… they get to add African American (Black) to the mix. How cool is that?!
My advice to anyone raising mixed children? Make sure you teach them who they are, reinforce it every chance you get. Make sure they know beyond a shadow of a doubt who they are, what they are mixed with. Don’t force them to choose one race over another. If they know who they are, then hopefully if they ever encounter a bully (like I did in elementary school) they will be prepared and able to brush it off… or better yet, educate the bully and those around them!
Most of all, teach them to be proud of who they are, so that when they are my age, they can exclaim, “I’m Mixed & I’m Proud!”
My family is bi-racial too, my father is Mexican and my mother is Cuban. My sister and I both born in the U.S. and some people consider Mexican and Cuban the same, but in all honesty it isn't. Yes they both speak Spanish but it would be the same as to comparing British English to American English. As for traditions they are similar, but we grew up combining the best of all 3 cultures. In fact we grew up most of our childhood living in Baja Mexico. I married a full Mexican and our kids are being raised tri-cultural too, we are also raising them fully bilingual. My daughter is so proud of her heritage that one of her friends recently said she wished her family was Mexican.
Very cool! I also love Baja Mexico! We spent some time in Rocky Point, loved it! Thanks for sharing!
Great Story. I am totally familiar with Latin culture growing up in Miami. God made us all unique. We need to celebrate diversity!
Amen! Thanks for reading and showing me some love!
Your story explains why I stress heritage and culture to my children. Often people wonder if I’m introducing labels, and creating something that wouldn’t be there if I just let it be. But, for me,it’s important they know who they are and where their family comes from. Kudos to you!
Thanks for your comments! I am glad you liked my post.
I love this article! I myself am many different variations of caucasion, and a few types of American Indian as well. People have always mistaken me for latina, asian, portuguese, italian, etc. My husband is african american, puerto rican, and american indian. My oldest two kids are mexican and caucasian and my youngest two identify most as caucasian and african american. My stepson is african american and spanish. I absolutely adore our multi ethnic family make up, and wouldn’t trade it for the world! We eat a variety of it all too, and we all learn about each others ethnicities and cultural traditions.
Great post!
Thanks for reading my post! Your family sounds like a wonderful combination of everything! Love it!
I never personally identified as being biracial. Both of my parents are mixed races, but they identified as black so I did too. Only. People wouldn’t let it go! So many questions about my hair and how I talk and MY HAIR! Almost always from other black people. Now, my boys’ are legitimately 1/2 Mexican courtesy of their all the way Mexican father and people always just assume they are black. With exceptionally gorgeous hair. We make it a point to teach them about both because it is who they are and, despite what other people think, or assume, it’s a special part of them that can only be taken away by ignorance. We don’t like ignorance up in here:). Thanks for sharing your story!
Thanks for reading my story! We all have a story to tell, and I want to make sure my children have all the tools they need to share theirs accurately.
I think your example of Alicia Keys has much to do with the way the world defines a kid. If you look African American you are African American, according to much of our society. Which is why I make such huge efforts to raise bilingual kids with a strong Latino identity. Their skin is a beautiful brown, and while I am proud of their African American lineage, I know that our society will try to label them because of the way they look. I am hopeful that people with less diversity in their lives become more aware of the variances in races, cultures and language. I am excited at the rise of awareness of Afro Latinos, and hope that my kids will never be forced to ignore their Cuban culture (or me) because they aren’t white enough to be considered Latino. Just a few of my thoughts on raising mixed kids
Thank so much for sharing your story!
I totally agree! I just want to make sure society does not dictate how my kids define themselves. People look at me and see what they want to see & that’s fine, but if I meet someone; I make sure they know looks can be deceiving!
Thanks for reading my post!
Awesome! Sandy Gram, I love this! Thank you for sharing! I’m raising my little girl to be proud of both sides and it’s so encouraging to hear that you had a similar experience growing up and didn’t let people tell you who you were. You are an inspiration!
My only hope is that I can give my daughter that same confidence. That is what I strive for everyday. ♥
Your words just made my day! To be called an inspiration is not something I am used to, thank you. I am sure you will be able to give your daughter the tools she needs to become a confident & proud young lady. <3
What a beautifully written post about growing up biracial! Love, love how your mom raised you making a point to always remember you were mixed (half & half), and how proud you are of where you come from. I’m Latina, and my husband is African American we live in the South, and of course little one has my caramel skin color, and beautiful curls, but he looks so much like his Daddy. I make a point even at 4 yrs. old to tell him that he’s 1/2 Black and 1/2 Latin (a concept he has yet to fully understand) but it’s in his little mind. I too, strive to teach my son to be proud of who he is, and where he comes from. Not having to pick one race over the other, and to embrace both. Thank you for sharing!
I am so happy you enjoyed my post! It’s so important that our children know who they are, and it sounds like you are doing a great job. Keep it up! Thanks for your comments & take care.
Great post. My hubby is mixed – his mother is Mexican and dad is Czech. He has three brothers – two very dark and he and the oldest are both very light skinned. They call themselves “Czechxicans” – they were all quite proud of being mixed – and still are. All of us wives – all of whom are white – adore both of our inlaws and the cultures of both, and teach our children the cultures of both. I pray for a World who gains a better understanding and acceptance to let people love who they love, and that we are all human, and race does not matter.
Thanks for sharing! I bet y’all have some fabulous food when the holidays roll around…
I agree with your sentiments, totally. Take care & thanks for stopping by.
Great article! I am white and my children are all full Chinese. I’m always hoping that I’ll teach my children the best things for them to grow up to be proud about who they are. I appreciate your perspective and thoughts on growing up biracial. Thanks!
Thank you so much for your comments! I’m sure you will do a great job and raise them to be proud of who they are.
My husband is biracial. I always make a joke out of it (to people that can naturallly take a joke and won’t walk away offended) because I will throw them off guard when I tell them I am married to a black man. My husband is a portion African American, Indian and white as white can be. Personally, I don’t think it matters. I think we should all be proud of our background and I think it is cool when we can intermix different traditions. As for my husband, the only thing that shows his mixed race is his hair and how well he tans. Some of my kids got it – some don’t… but I bet if you looked at them you wouldn’t even know they actually have a mix of African American and white in them. Interesting post!
Thanks for reading! I know people just like your hubby!
My kids are of two faiths because I’m Jewish and my husband is Catholic so instead of telling them they are “half and half” we tell them they are BOTH Jewish AND Catholic — it sounds less divisive that way and doesn’t make them think they have to choose one religion over another, because they don’t. Thanks for posting about this.
I like that! Thanks for reading & commenting. Take care!
My daughter is half Surinamese (her dad, black) and half Dutch (me, white). We live in Amsterdam. Since she is very young I tell her about her identity being half & half. People always ask me ‘where she is coming from’. Assuming that she’s adopted. Over and over again I tell them she isn’t adopted… I was even taken out of the line at the airport because they thought I was kidnapping a child…. (she carries her dads last name and has a passport herself).
Now she can tell people the facts herself with a straight back en proud of her heritage (she 8 years now).
I always felt when so sad she was going true difficult identity phases in her very young years… We look so very different from each other, she is very dark skinned with dark brown eyes, I’m very white/blond blue eyed… She tried to identify herself with me as her mother and even cried that she herself was so ugly and that she wanted to be like me. It broke my heart.
There are no books about this subject in Dutch… I just recently found two great books in the USA by Amazone! So happy reading them now! (‘Does anybody else look like me’ and ‘ I’m chocolate, You’re vanilla).
The group of mixed children is growing as well in the Netherlands. I just love it! Especially in the bigger cities this group is growing. But, what I recognize is that al lot of the Dutch like to raise their biracial children colorblind… In my opinion you don’t strengthen your kids with raising them as if color doesn’t matter and doesn’t exist… Because the rest of the world may not think/see it like this!
I’m a photographer and started a project called ‘Beautiful Biracial’. I’m making portraits of half black half white children with their white mommies. (to keep it close to myself). I interview the mothers and the children about their biracial kids/being. Beside this book I’m writing a book for the Netherlands about Biracial Parenting.
I just found out about your blog, and I want to tell you that it’s very inspiring and encouraging to me!
Thanks for sharing your experiences!
Julia
Thank you so much for posting! My husband is African American, so I understand what you are saying! I would love to see your books when they are finished. So glad your daughter is proud of who she is now. You have made my day!! Take care and come back soon!
Hi! I commented back in January, and I just read it again. I love your post! Thank you for sharing at the Creative Kids Culture Blog Hop!
Aw, thank you so very much! I was honored to be part of the hop!!!
What a beautiful post – thank you so much for linking up to the Creative Kids Culture Blog Hop. This has really got me thinking. My kids are not biracial but they are bicultural and I think maybe I have glossed over the differences because they don’t jump out at you in their skin color. My husband is white Zambian and I am white American and, since we live overseas in a rural area where white is the minority, I have done a lot to share the local culture with my kids but very little to share white African culture or American culture. I want them to grow up knowing who they are and being proud of it. I will have to think of some ways to incorporate the more lovely sides of their heritage since they will of course also be learning about the uglier sides of it.
I am so happy you liked my post! Sounds like you live an amazing life!
Congrats!!! You’ve been featured in the Creative Kids Culture Blog Hop! Here: http://discoveringtheworldthroughmysonseyes.blogspot.com/2013/03/creative-kids-culture-blog-hop-2.html
Please feel free to link up this week again! Thank you!
Check it out, and don’t forget to grab the “featured” button.
Yay! Thank you so very much!!!!